Thoughtful Thursday: {June} in September

_MG_3962PART I - Thursday August 6th

The day was nearing, "one more day" I thought to myself, scared to death about my due date coming up. I had known for a while that eventually the little human living inside me had to make her debut and as ready as I was to meet her and as tired as I was of carrying my belly, a big part of me was terrified. I woke up around 9am the first time, feeling uncomfortable but that was part of the morning routine at that point. 39 weeks and 6 days, I could almost feel the 40 weeks. I wanted to stay in bed all day, just in case it would be my last day being able to get some rest, but a small part of me was sure I wouldn't be seeing a delivery room for another week. So I decided to spend my "last" day with my dad and sister, we had plans to go to lunch, I had some very mild and scattered pains earlier in the morning but I dismissed it was cramps. It was nothing too bad to worry about and so I decided to go on with my plans but as I was driving, it started. _MG_3972 _MG_3981

These photos were literally taken after I rushed home (well after I was driven home) to take a quick shower before heading to the hospital. My mom insisted on using the fabric I had bought for a conceptual shoot but never got around to doing, the irony to this was that I was going to shoot something this very day. I was in a little bit of pain but I knew I wanted to have at least a couple of photos of my bare belly, so I braced through my mild contractions and put my best belly forward and looking back I'm really glad I did now. Thanks Mom.

PART II - The Birth

As I walked into the Maternity floor, I felt chills going down my spine, the contractions were much stronger now but I ignored them, the fear of what was about to happen was stronger than any physical pain. I remember the staff being extremely helpful and oh so nice, even though I wasn't admitted right away (due to them not knowing whether I was in false labor) my first few hours were very pleasant and I felt secure there. Around 8pm I was finally admitted and that just meant that we had to get the show on the road. As a new parent to be there are a lot of things you read and research in order to make the best decision for yourself and your child and I knew that a natural birth was what I wanted --- Initially I wanted a home birth but being a first timer, I felt it would be better to have a lot of professionals around me, ready to take care of my little one in case anything happened, and I was very lucky to have had so many amazing nurses cheering me on and helping me go through the whole thing. I had a pretty great birthing experience overall, it's a odd thing to explain and put into words because every experience is so unique - or so I think, and even though the details are a little hazy, I remember everything vividly at the same time. It was very emotional and pure; an unforgettable experience of a lifetime. After 14 hours, painful contracts, one epidural, more contractions, one hour of pushing; my beautiful baby June joined this world.

_MG_4004 Photo by Taylor McGhee (AKA Titi)

PART III - June Amelia

June was born August 7th at 3:44AM. Pregnancy and labor were not a walk in the park, there were many sleepless nights and a lot of pain; there were so many nights that I thought about what this moment would be like and whether I was good enough to have it and I couldn't be more grateful to have been blessed with such a beautiful and healthy baby.

My plans to apply make up went right through the window so enjoy my tired, make up less face. _MG_4021 _MG_4026The love of my life.

Baby June, the second i saw you, I was mesmerized, I couldn't cry, which is ridiculous because I'm crying as I'm writing this, but the moment our eyes met, I was transported into a land of love. I couldn't believe that life gave me the opportunity to have you, I couldn't believe that you were the little being inside me and every moment of pain and suffering suddenly evaporated from my mind and heart because seeing you made it all worth it. I would go through a million hours of contractions again for you.

I hope you all enjoyed this lengthy and emotional and DEEPLY personal post, it's been 6 weeks since she was born and there were so many nights I wanted to come, sit and write this but it's so exhausting to have a newborn, but like so many people say, being a mother is the most rewarding job in the world and I'm so excited to be able to share a little bit of June with all of you. I wanted to send so many thank you's to all the people who sent love and support after the post announcing her arrival. I have felt so much love for June and it makes my heart jump with joy. I love you all so much.

yours truly,