My Little Seed

August 1, 2015

Today I am sharing something extremely personal with you all, something that maybe shouldn't be shared because of how precious and delicate it is to me. I've thought about this post for months; I came to the conclusion that this is my blog and therefore it's a part of me and it deserves to hold this vital piece of me. 

I was going to approach this post in different light but now I see things a little clearer; maybe all those times I tried to sit down to write, it never led anywhere because there were moments I still had to experience to be able to fully write this as honestly and as delicately as possible. 

For the last few months, I have been tired, sleepless, nauseous, you name it, I've felt it; and the reason why I've been feeling so exhausted in every sense of the word is because my body has been working extra.  

My petite body took on the role of a garden; growing a little seed; my own little beautiful human. 

My body has been doing something I consider miraculous now, which sounds selfish and in a way it is. I never thought that our bodies had to work so hard to do something we see as normal and extremely natural.

To be completely honest, I never thought I would go down this path; it was a challenge I never thought I could overcome or even take on. My pregnancy hasn't been easy, it's something that changed my entire way of thinking; my world was turned upside down. 

I believe in fate and I believe that things happen for a reason, and maybe it's a comfort thing; that place we go to feel safe and sound, but I do choose to believe that we are put in difficult situations because we can get through them and not just sail through, but conquer the moment, enjoy the experience and most importantly the lesson gained from the hardship. 

I never pictured myself becoming a mother; the phrase still sounds surreal to me.  

The people who know me will either 1) think I'm a huge fake since I've been preaching feminism and independence since I was 13 or 2) be really surprised and possibly think this is what I wanted all along.  

And then there will be the plethora of people who won't understand and will judge, and that's fine because no one knows the situation for what it truly is. 

I'm sharing this personal part of my life because it's going to be a part of me forever; I haven't been hiding out or anything of that sort. I've been enjoying the privacy of my pregnancy, it's something I'm so happy about, the fact that I was able to experience these moments so privately.  

I'll be welcoming a little angel sometime next week if all goes as planned and I will probably become the cheesy mom who won't stop taking photos of their baby, I am a photographer after all so I'd be lying if I said I'm not gonna flood my feeds with photos of her.  

I am going to be taking a little break from work and blogging, because I'm going to submerge myself into this moment.

This journey is a new and unknown one for me but I really couldn't be more excited to experience something people talk about all the time.

Most of all though I'm really grateful to have come to really appreciate what it means to be a woman and a mother; motherhood doesn't make you a woman, but being a woman gives you the strength to be a mother.  

Until next time,