Week 15 - Portrait of my lovely friend. 

After 6 years of picking up a camera and after 3 years of doing it for professionally, I think I've finally come to realize what it is that I want to do as a photographer. When I started shooting, I started photographing my friends, who are not models and it doesn't matter because in the end we always got beautiful results.
When I first heard of Sue Bryce, a portrait photographer who shoots these beautiful portraits of women I was instantly mesmerized and looking at her work now I understand why that is. I've come to realize that, that is exactly what I want to do and that is the reason why I wanted to become a photographer in the first place. I've always loved the idea of shooting "ordinary" people but it's making them look like they belong in a magazine or making them look like they are part of a movie set that motivates me, that whole idea of fairytale and a story beyond the actual photo is what is so interesting in shooting people who are not models.
So after years of photographing women, I realize that the reason why I love shooting portraits especially of women is because of that, because I want to show the best, most beautiful side of of everyone. I love the idea of shooting someone who was not experienced in front of the camera and going through that journey, styling everything, conceptualizing everything and in the end getting a breathtaking result.
As an artist I am still growing, there is so much for me to learn and experience and there's so much room for improvement and for growth and I find that every day, every time I shoot someone, I grow a little bit more and I learn something. It's hasn't been easy, it's not always easy. There are times when I feel defeated, I feel let down and tired, worn out and the fact is that this is my job sometimes and like any job, it can be frustrating, but not for one second do I want anyone to think that I regret the choice I've made or that I wish I was doing something else.
Photography is what I breath, sleep, eat, bleed and what I am in the end, and I don't know what I would be if I wasn't this. A lot of the times I'll say that I'm photography saved my life and I think many people don't understand that but I would be nothing without art and without photography. It's very hard to explain sometimes why it is that photography saved my life but as a very artistic and emotional person I needed an outlet and this is exactly what I needed. It has helped me grow, not only as an artist but as a human being.
So after many years I am so happy that I feel like I realized exactly what it is that I want to do. I have been shooting beauty and fashion work and I think that work fulfills me and it's fun, it's great but ultimately what I would want to do for my clients is that; take them from just being ordinary and when I say ordinary I don't mean that they are ordinary but you know we are all in a way ordinary, and make them from being that to looking like the best them they could be. And it is such an amazing feeling to somehow feel a little found and not so lost because I think as artists we are always lost. And it's not necessarily a bad thing, I think it's good to get lost and then find yourself and that's how we reinvent who we are in our art and what we do but for right now I think I'm extremely happy to have realized what will make me happy and what I want to do for a living.

I am a little behind with my weekly photos and that is just a little inexcusable and unacceptable but I'm trying to catch up and I am trying to incorporate my schoolwork with my actual artist work which is a little hard, but I promise that even if it's Instagram Photo or something, I will upload a weekly photo and or at least a weekly post. I think that's important and I'm excited about what's going happen now. And I am so glad that I have this little place of mine, to express myself even more because sometimes photos aren't enough and as someone who loves to write and talk, I think it's great for me to have this little place.  
Thank you for taking the time to read this beautiful realization. 

yours truly,